is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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