it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
