He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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