I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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