I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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