some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
