Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
