I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
