I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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