he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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