I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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