Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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