I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
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