I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
