just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
