it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
