I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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