I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
