he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
