the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
