I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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