did you get engaged???
Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
