dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
