You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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