I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
So many bounce houses so little time
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
