glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
