I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
should my penis look like a turkey
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
