Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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