Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
