You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
