If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
