I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Randomize
