it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
