He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
