she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Randomize
