just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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