what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Randomize
