pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
