Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Life is so much better after having sex.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
