I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
