Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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