So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
