Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
