Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
