Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
