Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
