So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
