Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
