what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Randomize
