Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Randomize
