I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
