going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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