We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
