Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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