I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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