I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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