He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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