can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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