foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
