The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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