The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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