You're a womanizer and a bitch.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
