Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
