By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
