This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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