Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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